Who became kamikazee
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I hope that you will forgive my sin of being undutiful and that you will live in happiness.[54]
This is similar to what Corporal Araki and Hisanaga had mentioned. All
reveal their thoughts towards their parents. They believed their dying was piety, which shows that they were doing it for their family. All had mentioned having no
nostalgic sentiments possibly to make their parents feel easier. Because these are
"Typical" letters, many others had written just as they had.
The unique ones written by the college graduates included more personal feelings. For example, Second Lieutenant Shigeyuki Suzuki wrote:[55]
People say that our feeling is of resignation, but that does not know at all how we feel, and think of us as a fish about to be cooked.
Young blood does flow in us.
There are persons we love, we think of, and many unforgettable memories. However, with those, we cannot win the war.
To let this beautiful Japan keep growing, to be released from the wicked hands of the Americans and British, and to build a 'freed Asia' was our goal from the Gakuto Shutsujin year before last; yet nothing has changed.
The great day that we can directly be in contact with the battle is our day of happiness and at the same time, the memorial of our death...[56]
Second Lieutenant Ryoji Uehara, a graduate of Keio University was 22 years old. His ideas were "radical" for the time, and if known by the Kenpeitai, he would not have been left alone.[57] In a note, he wrote to a journalist just before his mission that he was greatly honored to be chosen as a Kamikaze pilot.[58 ]Yet he also wrote, thinking logically with the skills he had gained in college. He believed in democracy. He believed that the victory of democracy was obvious, and although fascism would make the country appear to be prosperous temporarily, only decline would wait for it. He mentioned the fact that Fascist Italy and Nazi Germany had been defeated, and that the power of "Freedom" will appear in history. He says that if his ideas were correct, it would be a tragedy for the nation but that he would be happy. In the end of the note he wrote:
Tomorrow, one believer in democracy will leave this world. He may look lonely, but his heart is filled with satisfaction.
Second Lieutenant Uehara believed that he would not go to Yasukuni
Shrine, but go to heaven where he would be able to meet his brother and the girl he
loved, who died earlier.[59]
Second Lieutenant Toshio Anazawa was engaged. Yet being chosen for such a mission that [engagement] was to be canceled. He wrote in his last letter to her all the thankfulness he felt for her and her family. He tells her that he does not want her to reflect on the time they had spent together.[60] He wrote:
As an engaged man, as a man to go, I would like to say a little to you, a lady before I go.
I only wish your happiness.
Do not mind the past. You are not to live in the past.
Have the courage and forget the past. You are to create a new future.
You are to live from moment to moment in the reality. Anazawa no longer exists in the reality.[61]
Unlike the first two letters, which contained the words, "I have no nostalgic emotions," he wrote: "It's too late now, but I would like to say some of my wishes."
He then listed the books he wanted to read, what he wanted to see, what he wanted to listen to, and that he was eager to see her, and to talk to her.[62]
The last three writings probably spoke for themselves and require no further explanation. They just made clearer the different ways of thought the college students had from the others who attended military school.
Not only in writing had the thoughts of the pilots appeared. In actions, and in speeches too were the emotions visible. Corporal Mineyoshi Takahashi, according to Mr. Yasuo
Takahashi, his older brother, had changed since entering military
school, and his attitude in talking with Mr. Takahashi was not as it used to be.[63]
(The way Mr. Y.
Takahashi explained the differences before and after Mineyoshi joined the military was similar to the way Mr. S. Araki had explained Yukio's changes.) He remembers that the last time they met, he took Corporal Takahashi into the ship he was working in.
Suddenly, Corporal Takahashi had asked his brother: "Which part of the ship is the weakest?" Mr. Takahashi remembers that he was extremely surprised, but pointed to the place which he knew was the weakest.[64]
This reveals that Corporal Takahashi was thinking of his mission rather calmly. He had asked the question, probably thinking of which part of the ship he should drive his plane into.[65]
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